Feeling like you’re way too busy to slow down the pace or give yourself some breathing room? Or feel guilty if you do take something off your plate?

These past few weeks I’ve needed more breathing room myself.

It was the four-year anniversary of my mom’s death, unexpected hospital visits with a kid’s broken thumb and finger (different hands, different injuries!), and a medical procedure that took more out of me than I expected.

Add in a few team workshops to prep and deliver, a new keynote to create, and a fuller month of growth planned with work—plus emails, laundry, and the rest of life.

With big expectations of what I’d get done, and way lower energy to see it all through.

Something had to give.

When we’re feeling too busy or rundown, the key is getting closer to the heart of what really matters and letting go of what matters less.

What got my best and mattered most:

• Taking care of my health and giving space for grief
• Being fully present and patient with my husband and kids
• Client workshops, sessions, and prep

What I let go of and mattered less:

• Social media—writing and consuming it
• Timely responses and lower-priority work
• Feeling guilty about needing more downtime than I expected

This came with giving myself more space… and grace each day.

When life feels too busy or you’re burned out, being intentional about what you take off your plate is as important as being clear on what matters most.

Yet what gets in the way of this is not giving ourselves permission that it’s okay to slow down the pace when we need or wearing our busy badge proudly.

The badge of busyness

You likely have a lot on your plate. Things are busy at work. And at home. You push yourself, have high standards, and feel as though you have something to prove.

Somehow, you’re juggling all the balls (but silently worrying you’ll drop one . . . or more).

You might feel as if success equals how many hours you’re putting in, or how many activities you have your kids in, or simply how busy you are.

Anytime someone asks you how you’re doing (or you ask someone else), the words “I’m busy” come out of your mouth. I get it.

The badge of busyness is subtle yet pervasive. This badge isn’t tangible; you won’t find it pinned to a shirt, but its presence is unmistakably felt.

It symbolizes a set of societal expectations in a world where our worth and success are measured by how busy our schedules are.

A world where being constantly engaged in work, family responsibilities, and social commitments isn’t just the norm—it’s glorified.

For women, this badge can take on additional layers.

It’s not just about being busy. It’s about effortlessly juggling multiple roles, each with its own set of demands and expectations. Many of which we put on ourselves.

We want to be the best leaders, moms, partners, and friends. Not only do we tend to be the primary caregivers and take on more responsibilities, but we also carry much more of the mental load.

The guilt we feel when we “can’t handle it all” or the fear of failure or that we’ll make a mistake is high.

The badge of busyness is a testament to our ability to handle it all and take on so much—even at the expense of our own well-being and sense of balance.

It’s important to note that what “too busy” looks like will be different for everyone.

This isn’t about right or wrong but about being self-aware enough to notice whether the way you operate is serving you and your relationships . . . or not.

In a world that often equates busyness with importance, it’s crucial to pause and ask yourself…

• Is this really how I want to live my life?
• Do I truly enjoy these activities and this pace?
• What is the constant busyness costing me?

There are many other badges that don’t serve us and that we wear without meaning to. The burnout badge. The working-late badge. The pretending-to-be-okay badge. The working-on-vacation badge.

Any badge that doesn’t align with who you want to be or how you want to feel is NOT a badge to be striving for.

When you’re busy being busy, you’re missing out on the small joys of each day.

You’re less focused and spending way too much time and energy on what doesn’t truly matter.

And you’re also likely chipping away at your relationships, because the busier we are, the less present and patient we tend to be.

Stepping out of the busyness, with more space—and grace—is essential if you want to be truly effective at work, present in your life, and enjoy your days.

So, let’s redefine what success looks like—not by how full our calendars are, but by how fulfilling and balanced our lives feel.

Besides, life is too short to be so darn busy.

All my best,

Stacey Olson, CPPC is a keynote speaker, leadership certified coach, and author of Your Balanced and Bold Life: Work Less, Live More, and Be Your Best. She works with busy leaders and teams who want to create more balance, stress less, and be their best both at work and at home—even with the constant demands and messy everyday life. Learn more and get the book here.