What Everybody Ought to Know About Self-Doubt

First off, everybody has self-doubt.

Have you felt a ball in your stomach when you want to speak up in an important meeting and the voice in your head is asking: “Is what I have to say really that important?”, “Will I sound smart?” or “What will they think of me?”

And you might be brave and speak up.

And then the worry after the meeting – “What did they think of me?” and “I shouldn’t have said that”.

Or perhaps you hold back and don’t say anything at all (thereby not letting the world know your awesome ideas).

I am usually great at speaking up in the moment, but the little voice afterward asks those questions.

Or you doubt your abilities when you encounter something new and worry if you are meeting others expectations.

Everyone has self-doubt. It’s normal. If you aren’t feeling this even a bit, you likely aren’t pushing yourself to grow.

The difference in people is whether they let the self-doubt take over and hold them back OR acknowledge that it’s there, handle their emotions well and take the action anyway.

The most successful people know that their doubt will slow them down and undercut their performance if they let it get in the way of what they need to do.

They understand that worrying about the past and the future is wasting your brain power when you could be using that energy for something more productive like figuring out what you can do right now, in the moment.

In my case, that voice definitely still shows up but I am quick to let it go or take action if necessary (rather than spending much energy worrying about something I can’t change anyways). Sometimes I have to be very deliberate about it.

This is all a big mental game going on in your head. Self-doubt is ALL about mindset and you have far more control over how you think that you may realize.

You can choose where to focus your thoughts and keep your emotions in check, so you can take purposeful action, in spite of the doubt.

Here are two mindsets you can adopt and practice right now to put yourself in a better frame of mind to show up as the best version of yourself.

1. A positive outlook helps me perform even better.

Seek out your wins from your day — no matter how small — and reflect on what you did to make it happen. The things that you focus on become the things that you notice – it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. And when you focus on what you think is wrong or worry, you just compound it and miss seeing other positive possibilities. You do far more good things in a day than you realize, and need to put the focus on that to tame your internal voice and boost your performance, which is what you want in the first place.

2. Either I will win or I will learn.

When you shift to this mindset, you can stop getting wrapped up in how you are doing and putting all that pressure on yourself to be perfect. Things tend to work out, even from the bad things, and there is always something to learn that will make you stronger next time. And you can’t win, unless you put yourself out there.

Because I guarantee you – you are knocking it out of the park more than you realize and if it doesn’t work out, it won’t be that bad and you’ll learn something. So let your brain stop telling you otherwise.

What is one thing you can do to cultivate a more positive mindset?

What Next?

You can sign up for Stacey's masterclass, The Confident "No" here.

Stacey L. Olson is a Leadership and Certified Positive Psychology Coach, has 15 years of corporate experience and has gone through her own transformational change from burning out to balanced in life while performing at a high level (both in her corporate career and own business). She works with professionals who want to work less, live more and be their best even with all the demands, high expectations and messiness of everyday life. Stacey is the founder of The Balanced Leader™ program and offers executive and leadership coaching, workshops, and speaking.