What Badge Do You Want To Wear?

You likely have a lot on your plate. Things are busy at work. And at home.

You’re ambitious, driven and striving toward the next "thing" .

You push yourself, have high standards and likely feel like you have something to prove.

Somehow, you’re juggling all the balls (but silently worrying you’ll drop one).

You might feel like success equals how many hours you’re putting in, or how many activities you have your kids in, or just how busy you are.

It’s almost like a badge of honor.

I get it. I used to wear that badge proudly.

But what if that isn’t the badge to be striving for?

When my kids were a few years younger, there was this 18 year-old girl working at the daycare most days when we picked the kids up.

She would tell me often how she thought my husband and I were the perfect "powercouple".

We’d be in our suits, smiling, strolling in together to daycare and she thought we were the perfect example of what it was like to have a successful career and family.

I’m not exaggerating . . . most days she commented on this and she looked up to us. I wore that badge!

One day I stopped to chat with her and give her a sense of ‘real-life’ for us (in a kind and loving tone).

"Valerie, here’s what it’s really like . . .

Today was non-stop at work and I was in meetings all day long, I haven’t eaten lunch yet and I’m behind.

I am really tired right now, yet I have a disaster of a house to clean, no supper plan and two to three hours of work still to do tonight.

I had only been at daycare for three minutes and the kids were already driving me crazy and I lost my shit on them because they're taking too long.

Each day feels like a blur between work and home.

Yes, I do have a great job and family, I’m generally a happy person and know that I have a good life.

But, I also feel like I’m just barely getting by and I’m worried about what will happen if I can’t keep up with it all.

I’m more impatient with my kids than I’d like to admit and feel like an overwhelmed mess on the inside.

And this is what most days are like.

So, ya, I wouldn’t say things are perfect."

That is a picture of what life was like back then. And that’s around the time when I started to make some pretty big changes in how I was showing up in my life.

It’s completely transformed my relationship with my work, with my husband and kids, and, most importantly, with myself.

So many people are going, going, going and missing out on life, like I was.

You’re missing the small joys and opportunities of each day. You’re missing appreciating what you do have.

You’re putting way too many expectations on yourself and making things harder than they need to be.

You're actually less focused and productive when rushing from one thing to the next.

When you slow down, take care of yourself and get present with your life, here’s the thing, you will be even more successful and perform even better.

All the stressful feelings like doubts and overwhelm just hide your happiness, your brilliance, your best you.

Now if you’re saying that sounds nice and what you want, but because of your position, you can’t. I call BS. There’s something you can do.

It doesn’t matter if you have a corporate career, or you’re a small business owner, an entry-level manager or CEO.

You’ll still face challenges, stress coming at you, things that go wrong, people driving you nuts, a mile-long to-do list, feeling guilty if not focused on the right areas . . . you will run into this in any profession.

If I didn’t make this change in how I was showing up in my life and being intentional every day, I am certain I would be a ‘barely getting by’ burning out business owner.

Your life is right now. Not when you retire, the kids get older or you get the next promotion. Time is limited and you don't know what tomorrow will bring.

Very few people get to the end of their life and regret that they didn’t spend more time in the office (there are studies!).

So here’s what I live by now and encourage you to give yourself permission to live by as well:

Stop working so much.

Stop being a victim in your life.

Stop losing your shit on your kids because you have no patience left at the end of a long day.

Stop being so worried and feeling guilty all the time.

Stop trying to be everything to everyone.

Stop trying to prove yourself or take things so seriously.

Start to work less but contribute in a deeper way.

Start to take ownership of your life and how you are showing up in it.

Start to be more patient and have enough left to give your best self at home too.

Start to be kinder to yourself and let go of the worries and doubts that aren’t helping you.

Start to say yes to what really matters, and start saying no to what doesn’t.

Start to believe that you are enough and enjoy your life more.

What success looks like is really up to you. You get to decide what badge you want to wear. You get to choose the life you want.

Besides, no one is perfect so you might as well stop trying so hard to be that way.

What's one thing you can do to slow down and be more present with your life? Share in the comments!

What Next?

You can sign up for Stacey's masterclass, The Confident "No" here.

Stacey L. Olson is a Leadership and Certified Positive Psychology Coach, has 15 years of corporate experience and has gone through her own transformational change from burning out to balanced in life while performing at a high level (both in her corporate career and own business). She works with professionals who want to work less, live more and be their best even with all the demands, high expectations and messiness of everyday life. Stacey is the founder of The Balanced Leader™ program and offers executive and leadership coaching, workshops, and speaking.