Sometimes You Don't Get It Right The First Time

September 16th marked 15 years that Kenton and I have been married. When I reflect on all these years together, my mind tends to wander to when it all started.

Marriage is funny – it's the one thing in your life that you are supposed to get right the first time.

Well, we didn’t.

When we met, we were both already married to great people who were not right for us.

In hindsight, I knew this in my heart before I ever said ‘I do’ the first time.

But I didn’t want to let anyone down. I didn’t want to hurt anyone.

I told myself that things would get better and oftentimes believed that they would. And I certainly didn’t have the courage to listen to that little voice inside my head that kept saying this isn't how it's supposed to be.

So, at the age of 24, I decided I would stay in it “forever”.

Then I met Kenton and everything changed.

The stakes became too high to settle for the life I had.

We fell in love before we ever held hands or shared a kiss. We finally had the courage to do what we knew we should have done a long time ago.

Even though we hurt people.

Even though most people said we were crazy and doing the wrong thing.

Even though it was taking a big leap and we had no idea how it would all turn out.

Even though it was the hardest thing I’ve had to go through.

As the lyrics from our song (“Honey and the Moon”) go . . . “Right now, everything you want is wrong, and right now, all your dreams are waking up”.

It’s also the best thing I have ever done because I was finally listening to what I wanted for myself deep down. And so, when my mind wanders to the very beginning, I am filled with immense gratitude and appreciation.

That we chose to be together.

Inside all of us, I believe there is a part that is courageous and wants to make a leap for what we really want. And we all also have the part that wants to play it safe, keep everyone else happy and not rock the boat.

I’m pretty thankful that the courageous side came out back then.

Kenton is my best friend. My partner. There is no one else I would rather do life with. And because we made that choice, we have our wonderful, messy, amazing family and life together.

Like anything in life, sometimes you don’t get it right the first time and that is okay.

Because it’s how you figure out what it is that you do truly want, and what you need to do to get there.

“I’m so thankful that I didn’t end up with what I thought I wanted” – Anonymous

P.S. [Free Resource] I've created a roadmap that offers you six key pillars to be at your best at work and at home even with all the demands and expectations. For more balance, less stress and still perform at a high level click here to access this value-rich free resource. 

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Stacey L. Olson is a Leadership and Certified Positive Psychology Coach, has 15 years of corporate experience and has gone through her own transformational change from burning out to balanced in life while performing at a high level (both in her corporate career and own business). She works with professionals who want to work less, live more and be their best even with all the demands, high expectations and messiness of everyday life. Stacey is the founder of The Balanced Leader™ program and offers executive and leadership coaching, workshops, and speaking.