Really, It’s Okay to Say No

As summer fades and fall approaches, I'm reassessing my boundaries and priorities—both at work and personally.

This ALWAYS involves saying 'no' more.

No to what no longer serves me (even if it's something good), distracts me, or drains my energy.

To bigger commitments, like ending my engagement with a service provider this past week—a VERY BIG investment for me—after eight months of little results and poor communication. It was draining my confidence, attention, and energy.

Or saying no to taking on as many coaching clients because I’m focusing more on speaking and workshops with leaders and teams this Fall.

To smaller commitments, like saying no to going out for wings with a friend on Tuesday because I wanted a healthier meal after a couple of days of not eating well. (I’m not that healthy, though... going out for wings next week instead ).

Or deciding to go to the movies by myself one night, saying no to all the 'shoulds' in my mind so I could enjoy some much-needed downtime.

We say no so we can say yes to what matters more.

When we’re clear on what truly matters and FAR more mindful of what we say yes and no to...

We can avoid overcommitting, let go of guilt and resentment, and honor our values, boundaries, and true priorities. As this quote says, it can be difficult but so worth it.

“We love saying Yes. We find it hard to say No. And it turns out saying a clear and kind No is one of the secrets to a better life.” - Michael Bungay Stanier

Saying no is an act of self-care and self-respect. It’s about being strategic and is essential to perform at a high level and create balance in your life.

It allows you to focus on what really matters at work and in your personal life, and prevents you from overcommitting and constant overwhelm.

But what if you genuinely want to help others as much as you can? What if you take on too much without meaning to? What if you’re worried that saying no will limit future opportunities?

You need to understand that, regardless of your reasons for wanting to say yes all the time, it’s okay to say no—and it’s important to do so.

You’re not a bad person. You’re not doing something wrong. There will be other opportunities. (And we all overcommit at times!)

The thing is, the harder it is for you to say no, the more stressed you’re likely to be.

You end up doing things that aren’t the best use of your time or that drain your energy. You lose focus and spread yourself thin. You overwork and miss out on personal time with your family.

You have less time, attention, and energy for what truly matters—to you.

And you don't do what you deep down want to do!

It can feel counterintuitive in a world that champions the yes, yet the power of a well-placed no cannot be overstated.

Communicate your no with confidence and in a thoughtful way that keeps your relationships strong. And also accept that sometimes you’ll have to do things you don’t want to do—that’s just a fact of life, too.

If you want to be a high performer, be more balanced, feel less stressed, and have more time, energy, and attention for what truly matters . . .

It’s time to be brave—and bold—about saying no.

Really, it is okay!

What is one thing you will say no to this week?

Your future self will thank you for it!

Want more?

• I have an entire chapter on saying no in my book, Your Balanced and Bold Life: Work Less, Live More, and Be Your Best. Available here.

• Get instant access to a high-value masterclass called, The Confident “No”, for only $25 here. It's a free resource when you purchase the book!

I'm here cheering you on.