Overpower Your Fear of Failure

Feeling insecure? Guess what . . . so are most other people.

Especially when it comes to a fear of failure.

When you have a mile-long to-do list and you’re worried you will drop a ball and not get everything done.

When you’re going into a big, important meeting and you’re so nervous it won’t go well.

When you want a new job, but you’re scared to even apply because what if you aren’t good enough to get it?

Or when you’re scared to try something new because you might fall flat on your face. Or you do fall flat on your face, and declare yourself a failure.

Sound familiar?

The fear of failure can feel like a huge weight you carry around with you. It might be something you struggle with once in a while or every single day.

I get it. I used to struggle with this all the time.

A couple of months ago, that fear came out again in full force.

This spring, I had the opportunity to do a couple of speaking events on my biggest lessons in life – what I would go back and tell my younger self and other leaders struggling.

This was way different speaking than I had done in the past – a lot more personal stories about embarrassing and unhelpful things I was thinking and doing at a time when I was so overwhelmed and scattered.

The first speaking event was to a room full of people I did not know. That was surprisingly easy and felt great to do. I loved the experience!

The second speaking event was at the company where I worked for almost 10 years. It was an open invitation to anyone who wanted to come.

At first I was excited, and then, I was like “Oh s*&%, I know these people!” This is a completely different thing to do.

Fears and worries that I thought I had long overcome all came back – the deep fear of failure, worry what will people think and a slight panic attack to top it off.

Thankfully, I now know better than giving in to those fears and have some mind tricks to move through this quickly so I could give my best.

Besides, I was telling people that worry is a huge waste of your mental energy and blocks action. And, when you change your thoughts, you change your experience.

So, I had better practice what I preach.

​The difficulty might still be there, but your mind can make these challenges seem small and manageable or huge and scary, depending on your perspective.

Here are three mindsets shifts you can use to overpower your fear of failure. They have been well-proven in science and simply work when you’re consistent . . .

     1. Practice a growth mindset.

Individuals who believe their talents and others' talents can be developed — through hard work, good strategies, and input from others — have a “growth” mindset. 

Meanwhile, individuals who believe their talents are just innate gifts — “either you have that gift or you do not” or often believe “you are a failure” — have a “fixed” mindset. 

Research shows that people with a growth mindset achieve more than those with a fixed mindset.

One way to cultivate this mindset is to remind yourself either you win or you learn — either it goes the way you want or you learn from it.

Or tack on the word ‘yet’ when doing something new, or developing a new skill, and you’re not where you want to be . . . yet.

These keep you in a growth mindset and open to what’s possible.

     2. Reframe and tell yourself you’re excited and grateful for the opportunity.

Anytime negative thoughts creep up (and they will), tell yourself you are excited and grateful rather than that you’re freaking out and nervous.

Your brain doesn’t know the difference whether your racing heart is excitement or nervousness, so reframe and tell yourself a more empowering story.

You’ll show up more confidently and in a better way.

     3. Plan for the worst-case scenario to put your mind at ease.

Catastrophizing is wasting critical energy (ruminating) on the worst-case scenarios and outcomes, which blocks you from taking purposeful action.

This is the big story you tell yourself what will happen.

It’s an imbalance of your assessment of the situation: overestimating the threat and underestimating your own resources to cope and deliver.

When you plan for the worst-case scenario “If X happens, I will Y”, you put your mind at ease and can realize you are more capable than you thought to manage.

No matter the outcome, it's never as bad as your fear makes it out to be.

And finally, as Nike says, “Just Do It”. What if on the other side of your fear of failure is everything you want?

The more you push through your fears the easier it gets to overpower them. The more you hold back, the easier it gets to hold back.

Fear on some level will always be there, especially when you are doing something new, important or uncomfortable.

And on the other side of your fears is huge reward that often goes untapped. The only real failure can be when you give up or don’t even try.

After my last speaking presentation, I felt like I went through an invisible door of growth. And, it made a meaningful difference in someone else's life.

Because I did something that was so outside of my comfort zone and I didn’t let the fear of failure keep me from doing it (at one point I wanted to cancel!)

Real growth comes from pushing through your fears as opposed to avoiding them.

And remember, the fear of failure is all subjective. It is your mind’s interpretation of a situation.

You have control over how you think and your thoughts directly affect how you feel and action you take, and ultimately, the outcomes you get.

So, you can absolutely overpower your fear of failure too.

Here’s what to do next . . .

Reflect for a moment. What is one specific situation where the fear of failure is creeping up for you?

What’s one thing you can experiment with above to start to move through this fear? What’s is the real cost if you don’t push through it?

Small action can make a big difference. At the very least, you’ll feel a whole lot better.

 All the best, 

What Next?

You can sign up for Stacey's masterclass, The Confident "No" here.

Stacey L. Olson is a Leadership and Certified Positive Psychology Coach, has 15 years of corporate experience and has gone through her own transformational change from burning out to balanced in life while performing at a high level (both in her corporate career and own business). She works with professionals who want to work less, live more and be their best even with all the demands, high expectations and messiness of everyday life. Stacey is the founder of The Balanced Leader™ program and offers executive and leadership coaching, workshops, and speaking.