Let Go Of An 'All or Nothing' Mentality

You might find yourself thinking a situation is black and white, right or wrong, or all or nothing.

I used to find myself often "all in" on this unhelpful mindset, such as . . 

• I am completely confident in myself or doubt myself altogether.

• I am right, and "they" are wrong.

• I make huge strides or zero progress.

• I will follow the process exactly, or I am doing it wrong.

• I hit my goals, or I am a failure.

• It has to be perfect or doesn't happen at all.

Sound familiar?

First off, it’s normal to fall into this thinking. You are not alone! These thoughts still pop up for me at times (it's just way less often now).

But this limiting mindset also leads to slower progress, overthinking, and unnecessary stress.

Instead, you can . . .

Feel confident in your abilities and challenge yourself to grow and learn new things (even if you aren't sure of yourself).

Know that there is no right or wrong way, especially with people. You have a perspective, and the other person has their view.

Believe that even if you don’t know what to do, you can figure it out.

Find value in following a process and also be willing to throw it out when it is unnecessarily complicated or no longer makes sense.

Strive for big goals and appreciate your growth and lessons along the way (whether you hit that goal or not).

Take imperfect action rather than no action at all.

When you fail at something, see it as your opportunity to learn (not a sign to give up if it's what you want).

Be intentional to be your best self, and when you don’t, grant yourself grace and move on. Tomorrow is a new day.

Let go of all or nothing, and live more in the middle. Whatever this looks like for you.

When you do this, you have fewer doubts, overthinking, and frustration.

You make more steady progress towards your goals.

You stay true to what matters to you and do not give up when things get hard.

You experience more joy and ease as you flow through your days no matter how sideways they may go.

You are more likely to create the change you want to see.

So my question for you is: Where are you falling into the all-or-nothing mentality in your life? Awareness is the first step. 

What Next?

You can sign up for Stacey's masterclass, The Confident "No" here.

Stacey L. Olson is a Leadership and Certified Positive Psychology Coach, has 15 years of corporate experience and has gone through her own transformational change from burning out to balanced in life while performing at a high level (both in her corporate career and own business). She works with professionals who want to work less, live more and be their best even with all the demands, high expectations and messiness of everyday life. Stacey is the founder of The Balanced Leader™ program and offers executive and leadership coaching, workshops, and speaking.