It Starts With You

Here’s a common question when it comes to slowing down, feeling less stressed and/or creating the change you want in your life . . .

How is this possible when your company expects you to work more and more, even at the expense of your personal and family time?

Or when you feel like you have 'no choice' because of what you've been taught or told by someone else?

Or perhaps you are not buying into the idea that you can be successful in your career without the long hours or that you can influence the outcomes you want, and so you don't even attempt to give it a go.

I'll share how it IS possible but, first, why it is so important . . .

Too much stress, overwhelm or frustration is like a rock being dropped in the water – it creates a ripple effect in every single direction. 

And, you might not realize it (I know I didn't used to).

It can affect your relationship with your spouse and your kids when you're short on patience and not really present. They don't get your best at the end of a long day.

It can be the thing holding you back in your career by hiding your brilliance because you are spread thin or don't speak up. Not to mention, you are less focused and productive.

It can be the thing keeping you up at night with restless sleep and leaves you even more tired to tackle the day ahead.

Not to mention, it takes away from YOUR enjoyment of each day.

But, even with all the demands and expectations, YOU have the ability right now to change your entire experience.

And here is how it's possible . . .

The single most effective way for you to slow down, feel less stressed, and create the change you desire is by changing how YOU think and respond to the stress and expectations that you face. 

It starts from within YOU.

People often look for answers from the outside or external circumstances, but that doesn't work because . . .

. . . if somewhere, deep inside, you believe that being successful equals working long hours, sacrificing time with your family, feeling rejection, embarrassment, anxiety. . . it doesn't matter how much you say you want success or you want to slow down or you want to change.

You will NOT be able to let yourself do what it takes to succeed, be your best self and get to where you want to be.

And besides, when you are waiting for external factors to change, you are being a victim in your life.

Trust me, I would have pushed back on this way back when (and likely been upset if someone told me that). I did think a lot of it was my company's fault or other people why everything was hard, and I had so much on my plate.

It was not until I looked within myself and started there that I saw the massive shift in everything.

When you start from within . . . and change how you think and respond (instead of just reacting), everything can feel easier to handle because you feel more in control, even with all the demands and expectations.

The awesome part – you have 100% control over this! 

And when you figure out how to do this, all other aspects of your life start to fall into place. 

It's a positive ripple effect. You will see it in your work. You'll see the difference with your kids and your spouse and every aspect of your life.

And this change starts with YOU.

One question I expect you might be having is, "where do I even start?" 

Here are six shifts you can make that are entirely within your control and start working from within. 

Align your actions with your values. 

Our values can get lost in the day-to-day busy-ness. Get clear on what's truly important to you and better align your actions with your values. How are your values showing up already? How are they not showing up?

You’ll feel more conflict when your values aren’t being honored. For example if kindness is a value of yours, yet you are losing patience with people. Or family is a value, yet you are working evenings and weekends often.

What is one thing you can do this week to honor your values?

Be in integrity with yourself. 

You are in integrity when your actions align with what you say you will do, your values, and who you want to be. This is all about character.

Be intentional to show up in this way every day. This doesn’t mean being perfect (no one is), yet you can be more intentional.

When things get tough, and you need to make a choice, pause and reflect on what you value and how you can make sure this value shows up right now. 

Ask yourself: Is this a reflection of who I want to be as a leader and person? If not, how can I behave in a way that is?

When you express your values and character, you show up with integrity, and it gives you energy, pulling you forward. 

Keep stronger boundaries. 

When you set stronger boundaries, it forces you to get clear on what's important (and let go of what isn't). You and you alone are responsible for protecting your time. 

Our mind and bodies are not designed to work all the time, so give yourself permission to take time to rest, recharge, and enjoy all aspects of your life. You will perform even better when you do. 

Change your internal dialogue. 

We can be our own worst enemy at times when we beat ourselves up over something we did or didn't do, are judgmental of others or constantly doubt ourselves. 

Your thoughts drive how you feel and the actions you take. So, when the thoughts in your head aren't serving you, change the story in your mind. A positive shift in perspective and compassion can go a long way. You'll feel better and take better action when you do.

Learn how to say "no." 

Feel okay to say no and have the brave conversations you know you need to have so that you can protect your time. You can't possibly be everything to everyone, so you might as well stop trying. You are all grown up. Saying "no" is okay!

Be grateful and kind. 

Put more emphasis on what is right. Just because someone else is being difficult, does not mean you have to be. Just because there are crappy things happening around you, doesn't mean there isn't good too.  Just because you're having a bad day, doesn't mean you need to take it out on someone else.

Instead of "I hate that I have to . . ." transform to "I am grateful I get to . . ." These little shifts in your perspective change everything.

There are endless opportunities to be grateful and kind each day. 

******

It's time to step back into the driver's seat and take control of your life. When you slow down, feel less stressed, and have a greater sense of balance, you'll not only enjoy all aspects of your life more, but you'll perform even better with a clear head and positive perspective! 

There is far more you control than you might realize.

It all starts with you.

What Next?

You can sign up for Stacey's masterclass, The Confident "No" here.

Stacey L. Olson is a Leadership and Certified Positive Psychology Coach, has 15 years of corporate experience and has gone through her own transformational change from burning out to balanced in life while performing at a high level (both in her corporate career and own business). She works with professionals who want to work less, live more and be their best even with all the demands, high expectations and messiness of everyday life. Stacey is the founder of The Balanced Leader™ program and offers executive and leadership coaching, workshops, and speaking.