Do You Need to Cut Yourself Some Slack?
It’s been an unusual couple of weeks for me with a huge work deadline, family vacation for Spring break, and being more mindful to take care of my stress!
I have been sticking to my boundaries for the most part, with the exception of a big push hard deadline to get my book back to the editor.
I haven’t committed to a project this big or worked most of a weekend since my corporate days!
Right after that deadline, my husband, teen boys and I went to LA for a few days of NBA games, Universal Studios, and some family fun.
We had an awesome time on the trip, with only a few stressful moments driving in a bigger city and one night where my husband and I got into an argument over some logistics with the kids.
While on vacation, I disconnected from work for the six days, though I did spend 15 minutes responding to a couple questions from a team member so they could keep their tasks moving along.
We really enjoyed the trip and it was so good to get away. But when we got back, I found those “exceptions” clouding a bit of my experience.
Instead of focusing on all the good things or the fact that 90% of the time I was showing up in the way I wanted and enjoying my days . . .
I caught myself focusing on what didn’t go well and dwelling on the more stressful moments where I didn't show up in the way I wanted!
I would have managed my time and the book project well, except for working so much that one weekend.
I could say I disconnected from work on our vacation, except I did check my email and worked for those 15 minutes.
It would have been an excellent trip, except for that one argument with my husband.
I fell into an old bad habit of putting too much pressure on myself and not giving any room for the messier moments.
Never mind the fact that the old, burned out me from a few years ago would have handled everything WAY worse.
The thing is that there will ALWAYS be those messier moments. That’s life!
I need to remind myself of this sometimes. Do you need this reminder too?
Your goal shouldn’t be to have zero stress or tougher moments.
The goal is to work on navigating those moments with more calm and ease, and to be kinder to yourself and grant yourself grace as you go.
To experience more joy and less stress (not only joy and no stress).
If you want to be balanced in your life, it comes with learning how to feel better, be present in and enjoy your daily experiences – the good and the not-so-good moments.
To give yourself permission to feel good. And to let go of the unnecessary stress and pressure, which just dampens your experience.
Whether you’re on vacation or just a regular work day!
You can start small.
Hunting for the good and finding small ways to incorporate more joy and less stress in your days can make a tremendous difference.
This could be as simple as dedicating 15 minutes a day to a hobby you enjoy, or taking short breaks to relax or listening to music you love. Or a daily gratitude practice.
Or take a day off unplanned to reset. Or do something fun and easy tonight.
Once I noticed that I was dampening my experience like a wet napkin, focusing on what didn’t go well, I moved my attention to the good things.
I listened to some music I love. I went for a few walks outside to clear my head and enjoy the sunshine. I remembered to cut myself some slack.
More joy and less stress.
My bigger point here: it’s not supposed to be all perfect and there will be messier moments. So stop being so darn hard on yourself.
Be more self-aware to notice when your thoughts and actions are helping you or hurting you.
Be more present and hunt for the good even if life feels messy and chaotic around you.
Be more intentional to experience more joy and less stress – not perfection.
The choices you make in the small everyday moments contribute significantly to your overall happiness and sense of balance.
So it’s time to make feeling good a priority. Everything will be easier -- and more enjoyable -- to navigate when you do!
Be bold. What is one thing you can do today that helps you feel good and gives you joy? What is something you can let go of that is not serving you or will help you feel less stressed?
Your future self will thank you for it.
A special reminder: my book, Your Balanced and Bold Life: Work Less, Live More, and Be Your Best, is available for sale on Amazon.
This book is the result of months and, really, years of thought, effort, and care to create something life-changing and help you be happier, balanced, and successful—whatever that looks like for YOU.
