Balance Is Not BS

Back in my corporate project management days, it would be frustrating when we would do an overhaul of a process, but the revolutionary new approach often ended up being similar to the old thing, just with a different name.

There would be the same underlying issues and pain points. We wouldn’t truly achieve the desired change and then a couple of years later we would re-brand it again.

Because we were often changing things at a surface level, but not really getting to the heart of what was not working in the first place, especially with people.

This is what balance is like in my mind. 

People, especially now, are waking up to the fact that their well-being, time, and boundaries are urgent and important. 

When you feel like you're drowning in everything to do and you can never seem to find the time to reset and recharge. Or you find that it’s impossible to stop thinking about work or stop working in the evenings to catch up after the kids are in bed.

Or when you feel like you are compromising your values, conforming to what everyone else expects of you. You're anxious, complaining more often than you'd like to admit and lose your patience with the people you care about even though that's not really who you are.

We want time and space to excel in our work, be there for our family and take care of ourselves too. To feel more joy and presence, and less stress and overwhelm. 

Yet many people are quick to say "balance" is a lie or a myth or BS or instead talk about the importance of “work-life integration” or “holistic living” or well-being.

Call it what you want. It’s the same thing, in my opinion.

What we really need is to get to the heart of what must change in our minds and our lives so we can feel happier, more harmonious and successful.

The narrative around “work-life” balance being a myth is doing leaders and teams a disservice because people then discount it and so don’t even strive for it.

With the illusion that balance is unachievable, many people’s definition of success becomes complicated, to-do lists get out of control (at work and at home) and people become exhausted and burnt out . . . and find themselves seriously out of balance. 

This hurts your leadership, performance, relationships, mental health, and more. Yet people still resist the idea that something better is possible for them. 

When what’s really going on is you simply haven’t figured out YET how to create a sense of balance and perform at a high level or not clear on what success looks like for you. You're at the surface level of what's possible.

This takes a different way to think about and approach your workday and the rest of life. To have the courage to step into the leader, spouse, and parent you want to be. 

So, I don’t believe balance is BS. I believe it is a strategic move we need more than ever in a world with so many demands and expectations.

Because it is really hard to be your best when you are feeling overwhelmed and running on empty, scattered and pulled in so many directions, or always feeling guilty about letting someone down.

It's our happiness and well-being that fuel our performance and success. Yet this is what's often sacrificed to "get the job done".

I’ve experienced this in my own life from when I was burning out in my corporate career, and made changes while I was still there to create more balance AND performed even better. I also know now I would be a burning out business owner if I didn’t apply this different approach to my daily life now.

So, what do I mean by balance?

Instead of this or that (work or life), balance is about feeling that you have space and presence for all of the important areas and roles in your life, and it looks different for different people.

It's not work and then you have a life . . . work is a part of your life, after all!

This is possible to achieve, once you change your mindset and habits to align to what’s truly important to you and let go of what isn’t.

It’s focusing on what's essential instead of trying to do it all.

It’s slowing down instead of rushing from one thing to the next.

It’s having strong boundaries so you can protect your time and energy.

It’s learning how to say 'no' so that you can say 'yes' to what does matter.

It’s developing an inner calm and confidence instead of feeling impatient and constantly doubting yourself (which is unproductive).

It’s doing more of what energizes you and less of what drains you.

It’s being present in your life and finding joy in the small moments especially with the people around you, and spending less time distracted or caught up in worry.

It's making well-being a priority.

What this exactly looks like for me might be different than what it looks like for you.

The counterintuitive thing? You'll perform even better and lead even stronger.

Because the traditional thinking that if we just work harder or that we need to sacrifice what matters to us to be successful, and then we'll be happy, is backward and is actually undermining your performance and success.

Balance takes more than a name change. It takes a different way for us to think and show up in our life. As leaders, as parents, as friends, as a society. 

It takes getting to the heart of what’s holding us back from being our best in our work and personal life.

Definitely not BS. 

All my best,

What Next?

You can sign up for Stacey's masterclass, The Confident "No" here.

Stacey L. Olson is a Leadership and Certified Positive Psychology Coach, has 15 years of corporate experience and has gone through her own transformational change from burning out to balanced in life while performing at a high level (both in her corporate career and own business). She works with professionals who want to work less, live more and be their best even with all the demands, high expectations and messiness of everyday life. Stacey is the founder of The Balanced Leader™ p