3 Ways to Quickly Bounce Back From a Setback

A moderate amount of stress is a good thing, as it can help motivate us to take action. But when stress or anxiety gets to be too much, it undercuts our performance and slows us down, beside the fact that it’s not good for our health or happiness.

I recently did research with corporate leaders and professionals on the biggest challenges that cause stress at work, and I heard from a number of people about being sucked into a downward spiral when bigger setbacks and challenges happen.

A few years ago, this downward spiral used to happen to me when I encountered too much stress. I have since made a number of changes to shift my thinking and behaviors, and now, stress rarely takes over and I am less fazed when things go sideways.

However, a couple of weeks ago, I was reminded of “that feeling” . . . when the pressure of the tasks ahead or stress from a big setback takes over. When you feel the weight of the job and expectations, and an unsure feeling sits on your shoulders. You start to doubt that you can deliver.

I thought I had shifted my thinking so it wouldn’t get to that point, so it was a surprise to say the least.

In my business, I had some much needed administrative and technical work to do (that isn’t my strong suit!), along with other priorities that were important and higher value. These conflicting priorities got the best of me when I sat down to get started.

I instantly became overwhelmed with the tasks ahead – it felt like I would have to climb a mountain to do the technical work, and it would take a lot of time away from the higher-value activities with clients. I quickly slipped into a high-stress, overwhelmed state. I was stuck and moved so much slower.

After a few hours of trying to plough ahead with a sinking feeling developing, my resilience skills kicked in and I asked myself: “What do I need right now?”

The best thing for me to do was to walk away, because I was not being productive at all and needed to clear my head.

The old me would have hunkered down for the day, stayed in that stressful state and likely skip the upcoming family weekend to focus on her work to get it done. Instead, I took the rest of the day off to go for a walk and do the volunteer work I had planned – and come up with a plan.

But, at end of day, when thinking about the task ahead, “that feeling” came back.

What Science Says

When we slip into worst case thinking and ruminating about all the things that can go wrong, it undercuts our performance in the biggest way – and, most often, things are not as bad as they seem. This is a very common thinking trap that professionals fall into, creating a high level of anxiety.

Here are four common reasons we fall into this thinking trap:

• Ambiguity – the situation is unclear and you don’t know how to make sense of it

• Something you value highly is at stake

• Your already fear the situation

• You are already run down and depleted.

In my case, it was ambiguous with conflicting priorities, I feared the situation knowing I wasn’t good at the technical side of things, and something I valued highly was at stake (moving my business forward to support my clients and my family).

3 Actions to Take When You Face A Bigger Setback & Stress Takes Over

1) Step back and identify what you need in the moment to feel better. When you find yourself in that overwhelmed state, your instinct might be to keep on going since you are up against the clock. You may hunker down or go it alone – cancel family time or exercise plans to work late. Instead, when you have this feeling, the best thing you can do is to step away for a bit and think about what you need. A walk, a coffee break, doing something kind for another, or simply listening to a favorite song . . . whatever it is that boosts positive emotions and helps to get you back into a clearer head space to then figure out the most productive action that will move you forward. You’ll come back more focused and sharp for your task ahead.

2) Accurately assess the situation and find a productive and realistic action forward. By taking different viewpoints to assess the situation, you can come up with more options and find a more positive path. When you still find yourself ruminating about all the things that could go wrong, consider:

• What’s the worst outcome that could happen?

• What’s the best outcome that could happen?

• What’s the probable outcome to happen — a more productive, positive and realistic way to look at things?

• What is a purposeful action to take for each probable outcome?

And if you still can’t shake that worst case outcome feeling, make a plan for it and move on. “If X, I will do Y”. You have a plan, so you can stop worrying about it.

3) Treat others well no matter how you are feeling (and if you screw up, cut yourself some slack, apologize and move on). A common side effect of our stress is a lack of patience, which leads us to be short with our loved ones, colleagues or employees — even when we are normally sane, level-headed and pleasant people. Once your negative emotions start to influence how you are handling a situation with others, it’s time to pause and find a better way.

Other people are our strongest asset when things get hard, and fostering those relationships makes both us and them feel better. When we feel better, we can think more clearly and more productive, and it fuels our performance.

Taking Action

I took time to clear my head and figure out what I needed. I decided the probable outcome was that I would get both done, but I would need help — so, I outsourced the technical work (a first!) and I shifted my focus to my more important priorities. And I kept my emotions in check when the kids weren’t listening. Crisis solved.

The goal isn’t perfection; it’s to bounce back more quickly when something does get you down and better deal with challenges that come your way.

What can you do to respond in a more positive and productive way the next time you face a setback or bigger challenge?

Single most important thing you can do

Dealing with stress well — no matter what’s going on or the challenge — is a crucial skill for leaders and other professionals.

CLICK HERE to download your copy of the Be At Your Best Roadmap.

All the best,

What Next?

You can sign up for Stacey's masterclass, The Confident "No" here.

Stacey L. Olson is a Leadership and Certified Positive Psychology Coach, has 15 years of corporate experience and has gone through her own transformational change from burning out to balanced in life while performing at a high level (both in her corporate career and own business). She works with professionals who want to work less, live more and be their best even with all the demands, high expectations and messiness of everyday life. Stacey is the founder of The Balanced Leader™ program and offers executive and leadership coaching, workshops, and speaking.