How often do you really put yourself first?
The idea of making myself the number one priority has never rung true for me, because if I were truly doing so, there are A LOT of things I would NOT do.
Such as picking up my teen from a friend’s house at midnight when I’d rather be sleeping. Or rearranging my day when a family member is in town or a team member needs something, even though I’d rather stick to my plan.
But what I definitely don’t do anymore is put myself last and everyone else’s needs first.
I matter too. YOU matter too.
“Make yourself your number one priority” can sometimes sound simplistic, even misleading. If you were to take this advice literally, your life would probably look radically different, and likely not in a caring or fulfilling way.
It’s about making yourself a priority AND being there for others. A dance between taking care of your needs and caring for others. Understanding that you matter too—not above everything else, but alongside it.
But make no mistake – caring for yourself is JUST as important as caring for others, and sometimes even more so.
This perspective invites you to reassess your choices and actions, ensuring they align with your personal needs, values, connections, and commitments to others.
It can help you recognize that, while you might not be the only priority, you are a significant one. This balance is crucial to the harmony of your life and being your best for others.
Now, if your tank is on empty, taking care of yourself first is likely the best thing to do – the idea of putting on your own oxygen mask before assisting others on the plane.
When you are exhausted or burned out, it’s much harder to be there for others in a meaningful way. This is not selfish. In fact, it is essential if you are going to be there for others in the best way you can.
Besides, sometimes we do have to be selfish!
A guiding question for me as I’ve been learning to make my needs more of a priority and still be there for others in the way I want is this . . .
Am I doing this because I care about you or want to do it? Or am I doing this out of obligation or because I’m worried you’ll be mad at me if I don’t?
This guides my choices with the latter being a “no” for me, which helps me to be more balanced in my life and as a leader, and can help you do the same.
You can’t be there for everyone. Let go of the guilt. Figure out your own balance in making yourself a priority and being there for others.
And always remember, YOU matter too.
“Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean me first, it means me too.” ― L.R. Knost
A special reminder: my book, Your Balanced and Bold Life: Work Less, Live More, and Be Your Best, is available for sale on Amazon.
This book is the result of months and, really, years of thought, effort, and care to create something life-changing and help you be happier, balanced, and successful—whatever that looks like for YOU.
Stacey Olson, CPPC is a speaker, leadership coach, and author of Your Balanced and Bold Life: Work Less, Live More, and Be Your Best. She helps busy professionals create more balance, stress less, and be their best both at work and at home—even with the constant demands and messy everyday life. Learn more and get the book here.
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