Do you feel like your leader doesn’t understand what you need to perform at your best or what’s truly important to you?

Or as a leader, have you stopped to ask what your team truly needs from you—and are clear on what you need from them?

It’s easy to feel like your leaders don’t care or aren’t paying attention in busy workplaces. And, as a leader, it’s just as easy to let this slide when you’re trying to keep up with it all.

This is what’s on my mind to share with you today!

Earlier this week, I attended The Art of Leadership Conference Women in Vancouver. From the excellent speakers to the beautiful waterfront views to some downtime from my regular daily routine, it was such a joy to be there.

As I reflected on my notes the next morning, one of my biggest takeaways—from Dr. Christie Smith, an expert in human-powered leadership—was this:

It’s a two-way street—what leaders need from employees and what employees need from their leaders.

This message came through in a few of the talks. They also acknowledged that leadership isn’t about your title—it’s a way of being and you can lead at any level.

In this context, though, they were referring to formal organizational structures.

Dr. Smith talked about how leadership is hard. And that we need emotionally mature leaders who understand what their teams need to be successful.

Asking the question: What does my team require of me?

She also encouraged leaders to be inquisitive about how each person on their team performs optimally, and then structure work to best support the team.

From boundaries to priorities to how people work productively, there is an opportunity to tailor more to what individuals need for peak performance.

Why does this matter when it comes to balance, well-being, and performance?

Many people are no longer willing to overwork or hurt their mental health or sacrifice being present with their family to get the job done.

And the workforce is changing—you’re less likely to find people who will grind it out day after day.

People want more flexibility and a better work life.

They’re also looking for leaders and role models who model a healthier work-life balance, more calm and presence, and a different way to work.

We need more leaders who are bold enough to step out of the constant busyness and focus on what really matters.

You can be that role model.

Now, just as important—even more so in my opinion—is this:

Every single person, whether you’re a formal leader or just starting out in your career, must take full ownership of your own days and your life.

I remember vividly when I was burning out in my corporate career, still working 60+ hours a week, and my director sent me an article about how employees should take better care of their well-being.

And I remember feeling so angry inside, thinking “you take care of my well-being!”

There was truth to that—and yes, leaders absolutely have a role—however, it was also a very disempowering place for me to be coming from.

I wasn’t doing anything to make the situation better. Again, it’s a two-way street.

While organizations and leaders must take the well-being of their people more seriously and look at what they can do to create a better work environment…

You must take 100% responsibility for how you work and your life.

If you wait for your company or someone else to change, you might be waiting a long time.

Every moment offers you a choice to be the person you want to be and live the life you want to live. In fact, it’s the smaller, everyday moments where positive change happens.

This could be saying no to something or someone that drains your energy.

Or not responding to work emails in your personal time. Or encouraging fewer meetings with your team to free up space during the workday.

Or being patient with your kids at the end of a long day.

Whatever success looks like and feels like for you—it’s the small everyday moments that shape it.

It might not feel easy to make the choices you know you need and want to make. But I can promise you that being (and feeling) balanced is easier than feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or exhausted every single day.

You can lead even stronger, perform even better, and enjoy your days far more.

Be bold. Ask yourself, regardless of your level….

What kind of leader do I want to be?

What does my team need from me?

What example do I want to set—for my team, my family, or myself?

And what’s one way you can be that leader starting now?

The keynote by Dr. Christie Smith closed with the nudge that…

Even if your leaders don’t change (and some might not), you must be willing to “plow through” anyway and be the leader and team you want to be.

You are a positive ripple. 💛

Enjoy your weekend!

P.S. I wrote a LinkedIn post with my biggest takeaways from all of the speakers. You can read it here.