Are you tired of the ‘shoulds’ running your day? Or feeling guilty when you do make yourself a priority, Stacey?

This week, I spoke at a conference in Estevan. I drove there Tuesday from Regina (just over two hours) and, after my talk Wednesday morning, I made a 1.5-hour detour to drop off boat keys at a business near our cabin.

Since I was nearby, I figured I’d stop in at the lake and cut the grass—a giant job!

Afterward, as I was sitting on the swing by the lake in the sunshine, feeling tired from the early morning, presenting, and mowing, I started thinking…

What if I just stay and enjoy the afternoon, then head home first thing in the morning?

But then the ‘shoulds’ kicked in.
It’s like a ping-pong game in my head sometimes.

It would be so nice to just hang out in the sunshine and spend the afternoon at the lake…
→ I should get home so I can do a couple hours of work and catch up since I’ve been away.

It would be so nice to have an easy afternoon, sleep here, and not have to drive two more hours when I’m already tired…
→ I should go back to the city to make supper and hang around with my family since I was gone Tuesday night.

It would be so nice to just do nothing for the rest of the day…
→ I should be productive, so if I stay here, I should at least get some work and cabin chores done.

Back and forth (and back and forth). Can you relate?

I almost drove back to the city. But I’ve been more intentional about quieting the mental noise lately, so I paused and checked in on what I truly wanted.

And I chose to stay. ☀️

I spent the rest of the day doing pretty much nothing, enjoying the view, and an early bedtime. I was on the road by 5:30 a.m., home before the kids were off to school.

It was perfect.
And everything I needed to do for work still got done the next day. I have no doubt I was more productive because I took the afternoon off.

We often complicate things by doing what we think we should do instead of what we genuinely want to do.

OR we miss out on enjoying what we want to do because we feel guilty for not doing what we think we should do.

I once heard that the shoulds that bother us most are the ones misaligned with our values.

So if a should is nagging at you, it might just be a sign that it’s not right for you—which means you can feel even better about ditching it.

When we ditch the shoulds, things get simpler and more enjoyable.
We free up time and mental energy we waste in indecision or guilt.
We feel more confident just making the call and quiet the mental chatter.

And coffee by the lake the next morning at 5 a.m., watching the sunrise? Totally worth it!

This ties in perfectly with a key takeaway shared by a few attendees at the Estevan conference…

The world doesn’t end when you take time for yourself.

Be bold. What’s a ‘should’ you can ditch today or this weekend? Let go of the guilt and enjoy what you genuinely want to do. 💛

I’m here cheering you on!

Stacey Olson, CPPC is a speaker, leadership coach, and author of Your Balanced and Bold Life: Work Less, Live More, and Be Your Best. She helps busy professionals create more balance, stress less, and be their best both at work and at home—even with the constant demands and messy everyday life. Learn more and get the book here.