Why You Keep Saying Yes When You Really Want To Say No

Oh. NO.

You know that feeling - the one where you suddenly realize that you said yes to something that you really did NOT want to do?

When you get that pit of nervousness in your stomach as you wonder how in the world you will have time for the new project you just said yes to… with everything else on your plate.

Or when you resent the fact that you have to miss supper with your family or work on the weekend to get done that last minute request that came in from your boss (again).

You wonder WHY you keep saying yes to these things when you know it just leads to more…

Stress…

Frustration…

And overwhelm.

We were taught growing up that it is polite to say yes, working harder leads to success, and somehow it is wrong if you say no and not do what people expect of you.

But here’s the thing. Every single time you say yes to something that you deep down don’t want to do, you ARE saying no.

Here’s what I mean . . .

When you say yes to that last minute project, you are saying no to giving your best focus and effort to the other projects you are on.

When you say yes to that last minute request that leads you to work late, you are saying no to making your personal time a priority or spending time with your kids.

When you say yes to reading an email in the middle of the night, you are saying no to a good night sleep!

My point is that there is ALWAYS a trade-off.

Now there will be times we have to do things that we don’t want to do – that is a fact of life.

But, to be strategic and protect your time and energy, you must start to notice the trade-offs and be FAR more mindful of what you decide to say yes to and what you say no.

So the next time a request comes to you (who are we kidding, it will probably be within the next 15 minutes) ask yourself: If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to?

This is a strategic question to help you see your choice.

On a deeper level, what is going on – and what I find with most of the leaders I coach – is they make these decisions with unconscious thoughts at play that they are TOTALLY unaware of.

They make these choices on what to say yes or no to from a place of guilt, comparison, unworthiness, a need to please, etc.

It’s like having an invisible third party at the negotiating table who constantly grabs the power and closes the deal.

Leaving you… out.

(This is all happening in your mind btw).

If you’re tired of having your internal need to prove yourself and people-pleasing patterns hijack your leadership…

If you’re ready to finally do the work that will lead you to respect yourself in a way that makes others respect your boundaries and decisions …

If you’re ready to stop feeling so out of control with where you spend your precious time and energy (when you’re supposed to be a leader for crying out loud)...

Let’s connect.

I have a process that helps powerful and caring leaders just like you say no with more confidence and ease so they can take back control of their days and life.

And it all starts with cleaning up who’s allowed at your internal leadership table.

Use this link to book a call and let’s explore how I can help you take your personal power back.

All my best, 

What Next?

You can sign up for Stacey's masterclass, The Confident "No" here.

Stacey L. Olson is a Leadership and Certified Positive Psychology Coach, has 15 years of corporate experience and has gone through her own transformational change from burning out to balanced in life while performing at a high level (both in her corporate career and own business). She works with professionals who want to work less, live more and be their best even with all the demands, high expectations and messiness of everyday life. Stacey is the founder of The Balanced Leader™ program and offers executive and leadership coaching, workshops, and speaking.