The Worry Is Not Solving Your Problem

As I wrapped up last week, I had the old familiar worry pop up that I am going to fall behind or let someone down because I didn't get everything done.

Not taking into consideration . . .

I had been sick a couple of days and had several client sessions.

The kids were off school for a day and working when they are home always tends to be less focused.

And I was off Thursday at noon for the rest of the week to go with my teen to a rap concert in another city (the things we do for our kids haha).

So of course I didn't get everything done as planned!

But it's what you think and do in those moments when the worry pops up that make all the difference.

So, what happens in those moments when your worry pops up?

“What if I don’t get done a task by the deadline?”

“What if I said something stupid in the meeting?”.

“What if someone thinks less of me because I didn't get something done?"

It is easy to let ourselves worry and stew about a problem or what we are doing "wrong".

Yet that is making the problem an EVEN bigger issue!

Worry is a huge waste of your mental energy, leads to higher anxiety, undercuts your performance, and simply doesn’t feel very good.

But – most importantly – it keeps you out of the present moment and missing what's going on right in front of you.

I get it. I used to really struggle with this and would be in my head all. the. time.

I’d constantly worry about letting other people down and replay every little detail from a conversation that didn’t go well.

And when I was at home in the evenings, I’d be thinking about my mile-long to-do list or stressing about a meeting rather than being present with my family.

Even now, the worry about 'what people think' still pops up on a daily basis.

But thankfully I have learned how to calm my mind and turn down the volume on the worry.

Be honest with yourself . . . when you are worried about something, do you feel like it's helping you?

Are you moving forward in a positive and productive way?

Are you able to notice it, let go of the worry, and take action on things within your control?

Likely not, if worry is a struggle for you and you haven't learned how to turn down the volume YET.

Because the more you focus your mind on the worry, the more you’ll have to worry about – it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You aren’t taking the action you know you need to take, so you keep spiraling.

Your thinking is clouded, so it takes longer to come up with meaningful solutions.

Your attention is focused on all the things that could go wrong and thereby increasing your chances of things going wrong.

And you're not present, and so you miss the small joys and opportunities right in front of you.

You continue constantly worrying and stewing about a problem, when in fact . . . it’s the worry that’s your REAL problem.

In our minds, we can make things seem small and manageable or big and daunting.

Now, worry does serve a purpose as a cue to pay attention to something you care about.

But then it’s time to move your attention and shift out of the worry.

You’ll see more options and can take more positive and productive action.

And you'll be more present, calm and balanced.

The best part, you can learn to do this . . . you are just in a habit of worry and like anything you can create a new habit.

Practice noticing the worry and letting it go by moving your attention back to the present moment. This one small practice can help to build the muscle.

And finally, if you're still feeling behind, this is a new week to get back on track with what really matters. You have a choice from here.

All my best!

What Next?

You can sign up for Stacey's masterclass, The Confident "No" here.

Stacey L. Olson is a Leadership and Certified Positive Psychology Coach, has 15 years of corporate experience and has gone through her own transformational change from burning out to balanced in life while performing at a high level (both in her corporate career and own business). She works with professionals who want to work less, live more and be their best even with all the demands, high expectations and messiness of everyday life. Stacey is the founder of The Balanced Leader™ program and offers executive and leadership coaching, workshops, and speaking.