Step Out of the Overwhelm

Are you feeling like there aren't enough hours in the day and you're struggling to get everything done?

Do you push yourself harder or avoid things altogether because you're feeling so overwhelmed?

Or perhaps you feel on top of things for the most part, but you also feel guilty about all the other things you think you should or could be doing.

When you're in this place, doing more is NOT the answer. It's time to slow down, do less, and focus on what matters most or what you need to feel better—even though it feels counterintuitive.

This was a lesson I learned the hard way.

There was a period a few years ago when I used to have one or two panic attacks a week, typically in the morning while I was rushing to get the kids to daycare and myself to an 8:00 a.m. meeting.

Most mornings, I’d roll out of bed already feeling anxious about the day, get myself and the kids ready in a frantic, impatient way, and then scramble out the door stressing out about being late.

I’d feel overwhelmed with the tight timeline, especially when I had early-morning work meetings. And often, when we were scrambling to get out the door, I’d be frustrated with my kids for taking too long to do something.

The panic attacks, which were from an underlying anxiety and came on when I was feeling late to something important, would last only a few minutes but would make the situation so much worse.

I’d plow through my overwhelm and keep pushing myself and others out the door instead of taking a five-minute breather. I wouldn’t show up calmly or handle my stress well, which made things take even longer and hurt my relationships.

Instead of setting a boundary—such as no meetings at 8:00 a.m.—or being mindful of my thoughts or figuring out how to handle the anxiety better, I let this continue week after week.

There were also times (often daily) I’d find myself sitting at my desk feeling paralyzed by everything I had to do, never mind the fact that I wasn’t getting done the thing I needed to get done.

When I used to feel overwhelmed, I’d double down on my efforts and push even harder. I’d put in longer hours and tell myself that when I got all caught up THEN I’d slow down and give myself a break.

But that moment never seemed to come.

Sound familiar?

This is a stressful way to live—and NOT very productive after all.

It's what life was like before I learned how to set boundaries to protect my time and energy and say ‘no’ more in my corporate career, and manage my stress better.

When you start to keep boundaries, take some things off your plate, and stop overcommitting yourself, you can step out of the constant overwhelm.

And when you slow it down and pay attention to what you need in the moment, or focus on one thing instead of ten things, and handle the stressful moments better, you can be overwhelmed for a few minutes instead of all day, day after day.

This is a huge lesson that changed my entire life.

Today, when the overwhelm settles in or a panic attack starts brewing (it can still come up when I feel late for something important), I pay attention to the cues and slow things down and do less.

I breathe. I focus on what matters most in the moment or what I need to feel better. I catch myself before it snowballs. I now do the exact opposite of what I used to do.

How balanced you feel is directly proportional to how well you can handle your overwhelm.

Where can you start? The quickest way to relieve some of the pressure is to give yourself permission to take something off your plate.

This is an obvious one, but is often the last to happen because we keep trying to do it all!

Be bold. What can you take off your plate today or this next week to relieve some of the pressure and step out of the overwhelm? Even something mentally, where you know you won't get to it but it's weighing you down?

Let. It. Go. You'll instantly feel lighter when you do.

And if you'd like to learn more and feel less alone, there is an entire chapter on stepping out of the overwhelm in my book, Your Balanced and Bold Life: Work Less, Live More, and Be Your Best. Available at major book retailers or Amazon here.

Remember, life is too short to be so darn busy.