Do You Often Lose Patience With The People You Care About The Most?

Do you often lose patience with the people you care about the most?

I certainly have.

When I am more impatient with my husband and kids – not being kind, losing my cool or yelling – I have learned it’s a cue for me that there is too much on my plate.

Which is a rare occurrence now. But, a few years ago, it was an everyday thing.

This is the famous "duck blanket” story in our house . . .

Back when Carter was four years old (he is 14 now), there was a period where bedtime was a real battle.

One night, in particular, when my husband was out of town, I was exhausted from the work day and I still had a few hours of work to do that evening.

And Carter would not stay in bed.

We went back and forth for hours, it felt like. I would tell him to stay in his room. He would keep coming out.

I desperately wanted him to get to bed so I could get to work.
We were yelling at each other, and it turned into a battle of wills.

Back and forth.

As a last-ditch attempt, I threatened to take away his most SPECIAL item in the world – his yellow duck blanket – if he came out of the room again.

And guess what? He came out again.

So. It. Went. Away.

We were both crying and at our wit's end. I needed Carter to go to bed.

And Carter desperately needed patience and compassion . . . and his mom to not be so scary.

Eventually, he got to bed. I was too wiped to work, the guilt was high and it was a wake-up call.

I was seriously out of balance, like a 20 out of 10.

My priorities were out of whack. I was not living my value of family or showing kindness.

And my family was getting the worst side of me.

I just didn't have anything left to give.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, know that you're not alone. Impatience is often a sign you are out of balance.

It's a cue to pay attention. It’s time to lighten the load and take care of yourself.

Because all the stress, frustration and overwhelm is hiding your best.

But there CAN be a happy ending.

It's one of my biggest regrets because it was a moment that was so out of alignment with the person and parent I am.

It also offered me a wonderful lesson.

Within a short time, I started to work less and keep boundaries, get my workload under control, and fill my own cup.

I became more present and patient, and felt more like myself again.

My family started to get a better version of me. Carter got his duck blanket back a year later.

And we thankfully have never had a moment like that again.

He still brings it up at times, and we talk about learning from our mistakes, which I like to think is shaping him as he grows up.

So, whether you are at the point I was back then, or you just feel on edge with impatience, it's simply a cue for you to pay attention.

It’s time to take care of you.

What do you think?

This story was on my mind because 14-year old Carter told me a few days ago that I win “Mom of the Year" every year except for THAT one ;-).

All my best,

What Next?

You can sign up for Stacey's masterclass, The Confident "No" here.

Stacey L. Olson is a Leadership and Certified Positive Psychology Coach, has 15 years of corporate experience and has gone through her own transformational change from burning out to balanced in life while performing at a high level (both in her corporate career and own business). She works with professionals who want to work less, live more and be their best even with all the demands, high expectations and messiness of everyday life. Stacey is the founder of The Balanced Leader™ program and offers executive and leadership coaching, workshops, and speaking.