Are You Missing Out On Your Life?

Today, I want to share a story with you.

Back in 2015, I was at my going-away party for my corporate career. Even though I worked at a great company and had a bright future in the project and portfolio management world, I had decided that it was time for a change.

We were having some appetizers and drinks in a small room at a restaurant and all my favorite people from work showed up (if you ever wonder how you’re really doing, quit your job and you’ll hear the nicest things).

One VP there, who always seemed to have a grounded perspective about work and life, asked me: “What is the real reason that you're going, Stacey?”

I told everybody I had wanted more flexibility and fulfillment, and that was true. But there was more to it.

The deeper reason that came to me and what I told him was . . .

"I don't want to be someone who has something tragic or bad happen for me to wake up and realize that I'm missing out on my life."

At the heart of what I shared was that I wanted to figure out how I could be more present in my life and not have a day where I regretted that I hadn’t done something different.

He told me that I figured out much earlier in my life what most people figure out when they are 50 or 60 (“Okay, phew, this is a good move then – I’m only 35 and on top of things for a change.")

That life is meant to be more living and less stressing so much about it all.

This wasn’t the first time, though, that thought whispered in my head.

“You’re missing your life.”

This went through my mind as I was on summer vacation at the lake a few weeks before I gave my two weeks’ notice all those years ago.

I was spending time with the kids in the yard, but aware that my mind was elsewhere. I was stressing and thinking about everything going on back at work.

What did I forget? Is everything taken care of? I’m so mad that my manager asked me to skip my vacation! What would people think of me that I didn’t stay? Oops, I forgot to send that email.

While my mind was racing with forgotten to-dos and stresses back at the office, my young kids were playing in the yard right before me.

I was not present with them or the current experience AT ALL.

I had good boundaries with my work and personal time. I had learned how to prioritize better and say no. But my mind still raced with everything to do, and I worried every single day what people would think if I didn’t keep up with it all.

“You’re missing your life.”

A couple of years earlier, the same voice whispered that in my head, around the time when I decided to make the bold decision to stop overworking.

When I was working crazy hours – 60 to 80 hour weeks – and feeling like I was drowning in everything to do.

I was fighting with my husband and kids often, and I was exhausted and overwhelmed every single day.

I still showed up pretty well at work (or so I thought) but had very little energy or patience left by the time I got home.

My work got the best of me and my family got the worst of me. In my defense (and yours, too if this is you), we were exhausted and had very little left in the tank to give.

I had my 'enough is enough' moment back then and drastically cut my working hours during the most demanding time in my corporate career. Not only did I regain my personal time, but I also unexpectedly performed even better.

What I didn’t know at my going away a couple of years later (that I know now) is that I didn’t have to leave my corporate career to be present and enjoy my life too.

This is why I now work with others who want to be more balanced in their life, stress less and still perform at a high level.

So my question for you today: Are you missing out on your life? Is that voice whispering to you too? If so, what are you going to do about it?

(I ask this with kindness and compassion . . . and some urgency).

I don’t want you to realize this when you are 50 or 60. I don’t want you to wait for something really bad to happen for you to wake up and pay attention.

I do want to inspire you to do something. And help you figure it out if you'd like.

So, if what you want is to be more balanced in your life. To be present and enjoy your days more. To work less and perform even better.

To be your best self at work and at home even with all the demands and messiness of everyday life.

Then I invite you send me an email and we can see if The Balanced Leader™ coaching program is right for you (whether it's for you or your team).

There are a small number of spots left for Winter 2023/24. You can start in December or wait until January.

And, as an extra bonus, you can attend an in-person all-day event I am hosting for current and past Balanced Leader clients in January (join in-person in Regina or remotely).

The Balanced Leader™ group coaching program is currently open for women only. I do have a 1:1 spot for anyone and I am also available to do a customized program for your team in the New Year.

Whatever you choose to do, I'll be here cheering you on. Your life is happening right now. Make sure you don’t miss it.

What Next?

You can sign up for Stacey's masterclass, The Confident "No" here.

Stacey L. Olson is a Leadership and Certified Positive Psychology Coach, has 15 years of corporate experience and has gone through her own transformational change from burning out to balanced in life while performing at a high level (both in her corporate career and own business). She works with professionals who want to work less, live more and be their best even with all the demands, high expectations and messiness of everyday life. Stacey is the founder of The Balanced Leader™ program and offers executive and leadership coaching, workshops, and speaking.